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Addictions [34]
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General [27]
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Huh? What? [70]
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Me Meme Me! [27]
Much Hate [65]
Picture Pages [42]
Retail Hell [58]
The Crazies [42]
The Fam [93]

MAC and Peas

erratic_prophet | 27 May, 2007 22:12

The crazies were out in full force today..

Very Old Lady: "Where's your MAC counter?"

Me: "I'm sorry, ma'am, but this store doesn't have a MAC counter."

VOL: "And why not?!"

Me: "As you can see, we have.."

 (More)

Skin

erratic_prophet | 04 April, 2007 00:12

A common topic at work amongst customers is my skin. I don't know why it's such a popular topic. I do take good care of my skin. I don't have wrinkles, it's in good condition. But I do get the occasional break out. It isn't perfect. It's unbelievably pale. There'a always a comment about my skin..

Customer: (during makeover) "You have such lovely skin."

Me: "Thank you so much."

Customer: "But, then, you are young. Of course you have nice skin."

Me: "I suppose.. But I do take good care of it. I even have my kids using our product line."

Customer: "You have children? How old?"

Me: "My son is 10 and my daughter is 9.."

Customer: (looking shocked) "Oh!"

Me: "Not as young as you thought, huh?" (More)

Hooray and Crap

erratic_prophet | 24 February, 2007 22:30

I've been thinking strictly in these terms lately, so it's only fitting that we all hop onto the bullet list train...

Hooray:

• Love working in cosmetics.
• Really love my commission in cosmetics.
• Went to a "Strategy Class" for my cosmetics company at a chi-chi chateau and was fed wonderful food and given free products (one of which isn't in stores yet).

 (More)

New Kid

erratic_prophet | 13 February, 2007 16:28

Oh, yeah. The transfer. It went through Saturday, but I wasn't technically supposed to transfer until Monday. But I did anyway. Because I managed to talk the managers on duty into it. I'm that awesome.

Can I tell you how much I love it? It's less than five feet away from my old position, but it's worlds different. I'm not a tense mess, stressing about counting jewelry and keeping track of books. That's my coworkers' resposibilities now. Mwahahaha!

 (More)

By the way...

erratic_prophet | 01 February, 2007 13:41

That transfer?

Got it!

Pill Party

erratic_prophet | 11 January, 2007 13:24

I'm currently drugged up to high heaven. Luckily, I've been off work for a few days, so this is ok. Also, these were prescribed; doubly ok. Remember how I said my back was really super bad? Well, it got even worse. So bad that I couldn't raise my hands over my head and couldn't bend over. I guess it was a good thing that I had a doctor's appointment that day or I would've really been in trouble.. (More)

Mini Update

erratic_prophet | 29 December, 2006 16:40

That wiley female stalker has now realized she can trap me by asking me prices on jewelry. But she can't force me to stick around after I've given the price. Unfortunately, I'm locked in, so I can only go in an oval or a figure eight. That's why I call it the hamster wheel.

Hopefully, I'll be transferred-- fingers crossed, but not counting on anything until I get it-- and won't be so easily trapped in the future. I won't find out about the department transfer for a few more weeks. Send good job vibes my way. I'm hoping for a raise with the transfer.

 (More)

Merry *YAWN* Christmas

erratic_prophet | 25 December, 2006 13:05

Merry Christmas, all!

So tired. Hate retail. Evil people waiting until last minute, I spit on you. Might get department transfer. Lost another coworker. Still being stalked.

More to come. Crashing again.

Where the Hell Have I Been?

erratic_prophet | 07 December, 2006 16:55

I've been such a naughty girl not posting here in ages. I did have some opportunity, but I selfishly decided to use my free time to relax. Well, not so much relaxing, really. That's just been the past few days. Before that it's been all running around here and there. Doing this, doing that, getting a new cell phone, being stalked some more, being a wunderkind at work without any effort whatsoever, going on a Girl's Night Out, and so on... (More)

Another One-- Or Two-- Bites the Dust

erratic_prophet | 07 November, 2006 15:35

Cosmetics Coworker: "So did you hear?"

Me: "I hear nothing. Tell me."

Cosmetics Coworker: "New girl was so desperate to get out of here that just before she went to lunch, she said that her cousin died from a heroin overdose and then took off. Haven't seen her since."

Me: "Heroin? Wow. She really wanted out. My cousin would've just gotten into a car accident or fallen off a ladder or something.."

 (More)

All New Low

erratic_prophet | 27 October, 2006 14:19

Lately, I've been on a pill popping frenzy. Not illegal drugs, mind you, all prescribed. My gyno's been switching my birth control to a lower dosage hormone to, hopefully, cut back my migraines, but, unfortunately, my insurance doesn't cover the one he gave me, so I'm switching to a different one in a few days time when this pill pack runs out. By the way, anyone have any experience with Ortho Tricyclen Lo? That's what I'll be switching too and I'm hoping I don't become too loopy. I've been horribly hormonal this month, suffering from mood swings and break outs. But not all of that can be blamed on the birth control. Another pill would be to blame for some of that.. (More)

Panic at the Office

erratic_prophet | 19 October, 2006 15:51

Ok, so technically I don't work in an office. Yet.

I know what you're thinking. "R? In an office?! Has she finally lost it?" The answer to that is: Yes. And no. I've completely lost my shit and finally come to my senses. All at once. Now you know why I've been too busy to write.

 (More)

British Grannies and Mesh Shirts

erratic_prophet | 08 October, 2006 20:31

Some coworkers-- B, D, and T-- and I went to a faux Irish pub/eatery last night for some fun and relaxation, during which we discussed:

Interior Design..

Me: "This wallpaper isn't working for me."

B: "Too fancy?"

Me: "Too granny's parlor."

B: "British granny. Serving tea."

Me: "And it totally clashes with the neon beer signs."

 (More)

Duh-Rah-Mah!

erratic_prophet | 03 October, 2006 15:38

So lately, over the course of several weeks, I've been in the grips of doctor drama, work drama, family drama, basically any kind of drama you can think of. Because I'm a magnet for that sort of thing.

The doctor drama... I finally got fed up with my doctor. Not only did I become fed up with him, my pharmacist was fed up with him. So I dropped him and took up my family's-- Yes, my whole family goes to the same doctor. It saves on explaining family medical history.-- doctor because I saw he was finally available to my insurance. This is when things went bad and weird.

 (More)

Holy Crap!

erratic_prophet | 18 September, 2006 12:24

I thought that an apt title since those are the words that have been so frequently falling from my lips. I've been a busy little monkey lately. I've been: getting the kids ready for school, helping new hires at work, bracing myself for the upcoming holiday onslaught, and fending off well-meaning cupids. I haven't had a chance to breathe! (More)

Bad Things

erratic_prophet | 17 August, 2006 11:31

I've been trying to keep up with work, yearly doctor appointments, getting the kids ready for school, and still leaving some time for me to curl into a fetal position in the back of my closet to sob quietly about the cesspool that is my life. It's hard. Not the sobbing, that comes naturally.

I've found out that I'm not the only person at working looking for a new job. Quite a few others are as well. Some have succeeded. I am happy for them, but I also feel the tug of self pity. I want a nifty job that pays more! I'll settle for a job that pays more.

 (More)

More Random Fun (Or Not) Stuff

erratic_prophet | 19 July, 2006 18:50

Because putting together a post is too much work..

• Been hitting the library a lot lately. Trying to catch up on books and movies. Fell in love with all of the pretty people in House of Flying Daggers. So pretty.
• Been working on getting a decent faux glow with various self tanners. Finally settled on Banana Boat's Every Day Glow. It's very realistic looking.

 (More)

Pocket Change

erratic_prophet | 18 July, 2006 09:29

At the end of one shift and the start of mine, yesterday..

Coworker: "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you... The register might be short or over because of a deposit gone wrong."

Me: "What happened?"

Coworker: "Well, someone made this big payment and you know we can't have too much money in the register so I went to drop it off in the back. Only I was told I did it wrong. But it can't be because I followed procedure in the book!"

 (More)

CK Dior

erratic_prophet | 09 July, 2006 13:14

Overheard, of course, at work...

Frangrance Coworker: "This is our new fragrance, Miss Dior Cherie.."

Customer: "Who makes it?"

Sarcastic Coworker: "Calvin Klein."

I swear that my coworkers are the only reason I stay somewhat sane...and very amused.

Patron Saint Oprah

erratic_prophet | 07 July, 2006 13:37

So I haven't written in quite some time, have I? I've been busy, yes. Always. I'm training yet another new coworker in my department. Why do I get the feeling that I'll outlast him? Yes, you read right. Him. A man actually infiltrated our ranks. He'll be the second male in the whole jewelry/fragrance/cosmetics section. (The other one is an ass who I refuse to speak to anymore because he is the assiest ass in the east.)

 (More)

When It Rains..

erratic_prophet | 28 June, 2006 11:02

I'm finally posting after somewhat recovering from probably the most stressful weekend at work in history. To sum it up: the mugginess was unbearable, the central air was blowing hot instead of cool, people were getting sick and dizzy left and right, many coworkers were going through personal crises, I found out another coworker not only had a stroke, but also a heart attack and lung cancer and only a few days left to live, and then I got into it with my department manager who has this tendency to shriek at people like a banshee because she has no self-control whatsoever. I can't even count how many times she screamed so badly at the coworker with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) that she had to take medical leave. The stress would make her body shut down.
 (More)

No Rest for the Wicked

erratic_prophet | 16 June, 2006 10:14

For some odd reason, the powers that be at work deem it necessary to put out the most inept schedules ever. You would think that our department manager would then correct them, but you would be wrong. My previous manager had, but then she was a control freak of the highest degree.

Since I am also a control freak, I often take it upon myself to iron out the schedule whenever gross idiocy occurs. This is why I'm punished, I believe. My schedule is either a feast or famine event. I am never allowed to work in moderation. Lately, it has been of the feast variety. I've worked seven days straight the past week and before that only had one day off. This coming weekend was supposed to be my weekend off. But, alas and alack, I am a sucker who will take upon myself any unwanted hours from coworkers with a sad story. I will now be working about 16 hours this weekend alone.

 (More)

Miscellany

erratic_prophet | 30 May, 2006 16:46

Things I've Been Doing:

• Finally got a trim. I was in dire need since I hadn't had one for at least 6 months. I should be publically flogged, I know.
• I've spent a little and saved a little. Soon I'll have to spend more in preparation for a little trip to the beach. I just bought a 1 gig mp3 player for super cheap and I can't wait to drag it around. Much easier than carrying a 400 cd case around.

 (More)

Squirt

erratic_prophet | 15 May, 2006 11:20

Can't say I overheard this because it was said right to me...

Male Manager: After spritzing himself with DKNY's fragrance Be Delicious Red (it looks like an apple), "So I not only sprayed myself in the eyes and mouth because the sprayer squirts up instead of out, but I also sprayed myself with women's perfume? Fantastic!"

Yes, we're always spritzing ourselves with our favorite perfumes at work. And sometimes each other.

Money, Money, Money...

erratic_prophet | 11 May, 2006 13:04

Life has been crazy lately. Let me amend that. Work has been crazy lately. And money has been on my mind a lot.

First off, remember how I said people were leaving left and right? And the only other night part-time person in my section had left? Well, we just got a new hire. And guess who's training her? Yep, that'd be me. I'm hoping this means that I'm damn good and proven myself because they have her on my schedule and not on any of the nights that the full-time ladies are working.

 (More)

Night Sunscreen

erratic_prophet | 10 May, 2006 11:13

Overheard at work...

Cosmetics Coworker: "Why do I work here? I'm going to go insane! I just had a woman ask me for a night-time moisturizer with sunscreen!"

Judgmental

erratic_prophet | 22 April, 2006 11:53

Overheard at work because when am I not there lately?

Coworker: Eying a badly dressed customer, "I'm not prejudiced. I'm just extremely judgmental."

Juicy

erratic_prophet | 18 April, 2006 23:28

Whilst discussing, at work, the crazy things customers say...

Cosmetics Coworker: "You wouldn't believe how many people call these 'Juicy Lubes'. Not even young people being ironic. I'm talking old ladies in their 70s.."

Retail Hell, Indeed

erratic_prophet | 11 April, 2006 16:47

I haven't been around much. I have been at work. After taking a much needed week long rest, I-- rather stupidly-- allowed others into talking me into taking over a few shifts for them. Ok, I'm being needlessly harsh on myself. They really needed the time off, I needed the money because of my much needed week long rest. So, really, it was to everyone's benefit. Not that my sanity quite agreed, but there you go. (More)

Twitch Twitch

erratic_prophet | 28 March, 2006 16:12

Have you ever had one of those days where by the end of it, your head was pounding and felt as if you've forgotten how to breathe? That's been this month for me. Yes, that bad. Maybe worse.

I've lost count how many times I've nearly been fired or quit this month. Mostly how many times I've nearly quit. I'm sure I contemplated it at least once a day. I became addicted to Advil and Rolaids. I also spent a large amount of time smelling like peppermint.

 (More)

At Work...

erratic_prophet | 22 March, 2006 11:34

Security Guy: "Everyone's on crack today."

Me: "Is this the official diagnosis?"

Security Guy: "Yeah.."

Me: "So it's not just me being bitchy?"

Security Guy: "That too.."

Minty Fresh!

erratic_prophet | 08 March, 2006 12:06

The herbal remedy for migraines I mentioned? Yeah, I've tried it. It seems to be helping, too. It's not a cure-all. But I didn't expect it to be either. Before I get into all of that, let's recap, shall we?

I have a buddy at work who's into kinesiology and herbal remedies and oils. I mentioned my migraines and how I was afraid to increase my Imitrex dosage because it would double my current dose. She checked out my energy level with some nifty weird tests and saw that it was good and told me to use...peppermint oil.

 (More)

New Thanksgiving

erratic_prophet | 26 January, 2006 13:23

It's weird, but since mid-month I've been having the most awesome luck. Watch me jinx it all to hell now. Things have been going pretty well for me and I'm finally feeling like all of my hard work is starting to pay off. Normally, all of this feeling good crap would make me very paranoid. I'd constantly watch the skies, waiting for the anvil to drop. But I've decided to just enjoy it and not wait for the bad to start. That's so 2005, you know.

I've decided to, instead, celebrate this good feeling by listing all of the things that make me happy... (More)

Boring? Bliss!

erratic_prophet | 21 January, 2006 09:22

I haven't written much lately because there really hasn't been much to write about. Things have been quiet. That's a good thing. I like quiet. I like boredom. I want to be so bored that my eyes continually roll back into my head. Ok, maybe not that bored..

Not that there haven't been any problems. There've been a few fights and snits and all, but everything else has been pretty darn good that it outweighs the bad. Sounds like it's....list time!

 (More)

One Resolution Down..

erratic_prophet | 18 January, 2006 00:18

I've been keeping mum about this for a while. I finally broke down and told a few people. It's been killing me. But now the day has arrived and I can do my dance of joy because...

I got my department transfer!!!

That's right! Starting February, I'll be back in jewelry. Well, fine jewelry, anyway. And here is where I dance.

More Random Thoughts

erratic_prophet | 08 December, 2005 16:06

• Why do kids-- and cats-- think that if they can't see you, you can't hear them? You'd think they'd have figured this all out by now-- at least the kids-- since I have been known to yell across the house "I'm not deaf, you know!"
• Perfume? Doesn't taste as good as it smells.
• I really don't like getting hot flashes. I really, really don't like waking up with them.

 (More)

A Week In the Life

erratic_prophet | 14 November, 2005 14:25

Ye gods, so much to tell, so little time..

That salon job? Going well. It's only a few days a week and I get half of what I do. It hasn't been horribly busy, but I'm still averaging more than $10 an hour doing that. It's a pleasant change to actually have money in my wallet.

My friend? Dear A (my Albanian friend) from that very salon? Walked out the day after I started. And never told me. I had to find out from the boss. Oh, yeah. That wasn't weird at all. I guilted A a bit for putting me in such an awkward position and verbally slapped her upside the head for quitting over a blow out gone awry. I'm hoping she comes back. We make a good team.

 (More)

Slacker

erratic_prophet | 31 October, 2005 19:33

That'd be me. I've been a total slacker with this blog lately. I haven't had much to write about. Not a whole post's worth, anyway. More randomness...

• I still don't know who won the pumpkin contest. I'm a wee bit annoyed by this. The higher-ups at work are bigger slackers than I.
• I'm determined to get a hair cut this week. I haven't had one since the beginning of the year, I believe, and I'm way overdue. I will hurt anyone trying to get in my way.

 (More)

The Pumpkin

erratic_prophet | 24 October, 2005 11:15

There are few people who can actually claim to get paid for drawing on a pumpkin, but I am one of them..

I show up for work on Saturday and one of my coworkers runs over to me. She looks flustered, frazzled, etc. and asks, "Can you draw?!" I tell her, "Yeah, sort of." and she drags me over to our manager with, "R will make the pumpkin! I will do fitting room!" and runs off.

 (More)

Crazy Cat Lady In Training

erratic_prophet | 21 October, 2005 14:45

Many wonder why I have no urge to date anymore. Many wonder why I've given up and decided to become the neighborhood Crazy Cat Lady (but with only one cat). Let me tell you about last night at work... (More)

Opera

erratic_prophet | 30 August, 2005 16:58

Last night I was stuck working with the human snail who had the memory of an amnesiatic goldfish. This meant more work for me. I actually pulled my back. I'm not sure if it was all of the extra lifting and running around I was doing, or the tension from restraining myself from throttling her whilst screaming like a banshee. It doesn't really matter which it was because my back friggin hurts. A lot. I was so annoyed with the woman that I actually complained to a manager about it. Yeah, that bad.

Anyway, enough bad news. I've decided to try out Opera. It's free to register today. I downloaded it here. What do I think so far? It's ok. But I think I like firefox better still. Firefox just seems more compatible with most web pages.

Full Moon Madness, Pt. 2

erratic_prophet | 22 August, 2005 21:17

I completely forgot to mention the crazy coworker I worked with last Saturday.

Let me paint a picture of my day first. I was feeling crap. Waves of dizziness and nausea hit me, letting me know of an oncoming migraine. Add onto that cramps and crazy people and I was positively chipper.

 (More)

Full Moon Madness

erratic_prophet | 20 August, 2005 21:31

A few coworkers and I were discussing how the crazy quotient jumped way up the past couple of days. We blame it on the full moon. It's the only logical explanation. I even have an example from today... (More)

Where's My Bed?

erratic_prophet | 31 July, 2005 22:00

I'm in one of my rare giddy/giggly-- it took me three times to type that, I kept typing gidgly (which I may make into a new word)-- moods that only comes along when I've been deprived of sleep and also happen to be in a pretty good mood. (More)

Rush

erratic_prophet | 17 July, 2005 21:45

Oh. My. God.

This week/weekend has been a blur. I'm not even sure when it started. I was just racing along, then I was coasting along, now I'm on the side of the road with steam pouring out from under my hood.

I can't even string together enough words to form proper sentences, never mind paragraphs. That means: List Time!

 (More)

Drah-mah!

erratic_prophet | 15 July, 2005 13:28

I was swamped with things to do at work last night. It was so unexpectedly busy that there was much to straighten out and put away. I didn't think I'd get it all done. Ok, I didn't get it all done, but I did all that I could. But that's not the drama. Oh, no.. Have a seat and let me dish.

 (More)

Store Wars

erratic_prophet | 29 June, 2005 14:07

It seems that no matter where I go, I can't escape all of this talk of baseball. If I'm not hearing about it from J (total Mets fan), it's my uncle (total Yankees fan), or I'm hearing it at work. Yes, even at work.

 (More)

Work Conversations

erratic_prophet | 25 June, 2005 19:16

A coworker (referred to as A throughout this post) and I had been discussing another coworker (another R).. Ok, we were trash talking. I'll admit it. This coworker never ever leaves the register and never cleans the area. This worried us because the lazy coworker was closing the store and we would be opening it the next day.

We were going crazy, trying to find out if anyone else would be closing with the other R. Someone who would actually not leave a huge mess for us to deal with when coworker L came in...

 (More)

Pros and Cons

erratic_prophet | 10 June, 2005 22:52

Oh. My. God.

I just got home from a thoroughly exhausting day at work. Massive sale this week. My poor little-- or not so little, if I'm completely honest-- feet are killing me. During my mind-numbing work, I came up with a list of pros and cons of said work tonight.

 (More)

Becoming a Better Sa-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..

erratic_prophet | 05 June, 2005 19:42

Today I had to get up butt crack early to go to work. For what? A training seminar on becoming a better salesperson. Because if each one of us just sells one more product, that means $5 million more for our corporate masters. What does that mean for me? It means that I have to try to navigate the roads while barely conscious.

 (More)

Managerial Speak

erratic_prophet | 04 June, 2005 21:04

What is with managers? I've never heard my name used so many times in my life. And that was in just one conversation.

Ok, it's not all managers. Just two at my store. One of them abuses my name more than the other. We had the following conversation last night...

 (More)

Arch Nemesis

erratic_prophet | 01 June, 2005 22:41

Ok, not really an arch nemesis..

But I don't like her. I tried to! I really did! But...I don't. I've noticed that every time we work together, that she works really hard to look like she's doing something when she's totally not doing anything. It's irksome. And that's not the only thing. I compiled a list of sorts on my way home..

 (More)

Power Out

erratic_prophet | 30 May, 2005 21:11

I'm dead tired. I feel like I'm always on the run now. Even my dreams are hectic. When I can remember them, that is..

 (More)

Living the Paranoiac's Dream

erratic_prophet | 29 May, 2005 16:07

There are some days when I'm quite sure that the world is out to get me. Yesterday was one of those days.

 (More)

Baptism by Fire

erratic_prophet | 19 May, 2005 16:20

Or My First Day at Work.

Or or Wednesday, Bloody Wednesday.

I was only supposed to observe. Maybe ring up a few people when it was slow, check the fitting rooms, and put things back on the rack. That's all.

 (More)

Death By 1,000 Paper Cuts

erratic_prophet | 16 May, 2005 20:17

This has got to have been the most involved hiring process I've ever gone through. Or even seen or heard of. Tonight was my orientation. This time I got to go to the actual store I'd be working in. (During training, I went to another store in the chain. A larger store with the regional training center.)

 (More)

Every Little Girl's Dream...

erratic_prophet | 14 May, 2005 21:59

Last night and today I got to play with the cash register. This was more fun than work for me. I actually finished the training in far less time than it was supposed to take because I had a grand ol' time scanning the hell out of everything and pushing buttons.

 (More)

The Cure for Insomnia

erratic_prophet | 13 May, 2005 12:56

Last night was the first day of my training. For some reason, they feel that 3 days of training is needed for retail work. I was already a bit zonked and loopy from sleeping around 2 hours the previous night-- well, actually, it was the day of since I hadn't gone to bed until around 8 AM and was awakened by the cat at around 10:30 AM because he needed a cuddle-- so when they turned out the lights for the video, I nearly wound up in a puddle of my own drool.

 (More)

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